


story of arnela cunningham, arnold cunningham sister

by erfts



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: BITVH, Crack, F/F, F/M, I AM SORRY, M/M, appricate my art, i am on crack, i literally just want fucking subway, idk how to tag, its a crack, tell my mom to get me subway i am thirteen years old
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:26:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15750720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erfts/pseuds/erfts
Summary: au where Arnold and his sister go to ufnagda with kevin and its good





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please this is a joke I am sorry

Hi everyone my name is arnold cunningham sister, Arnela Cunningham. I have long black hair that flows down to my butt and I have crystal blue eyes. i have pale skin.

I couldnt wait for my brother to go on his mission because i thought his mission partner was kinda cute! but yeah i guess i would kinda miss my brother arnold but whatever his partner is cute as heck!

Day before them twos wents ons theirs ways, I threw a fit. "BUT I WNAT TO GO TO UGnad TOO!!!" My dad disapponinted. 

"Arnela, you cant go with them."

"bUT I WANT TO OOOOO!!!!?"

Arnold whspered in my ear, "ill snooke you on the plain.!"

I made a gasping face, my breasts bouncied, "REallY ARNODL??" I scaRWAMED!!!

He nodded his head up and down and up and down and up and down adn his man boobes bounced up and down and up and dow nand up uand ddoenw.!!!

I SCREAMED111" I GO 2 UGHANDA TWOOO!!!!" 

"shushshhs!!! he said"

i shused.


	2. Chapter 2

I was in arnolds suitcase, smushd in with all of his star wars masks that he would use to convert dem africans. i peeked out a little and heard my senpai kevin price talk about how he was better. bc bitch!! my heart was thrOBBING!!! i love he voice so much!! like literally vore me elder price dadDDYY!

arnold was talking about lion king because lets be real, my brother is a little dum dum in the headies! but im really smart because i had like a 4.0 gpa at school where i drank a drop of coffee once and i had a really weird dream where i saw my bestest friend katie and her boobies were really hot and i wanted to touch them but thats a sin. i woke up and was like HUH. maybe dont sin! no more lesbinan so i turN it OFF! i learned thta trick from my also mormon pen pal. pretty sure hes gay tho, idk why i took advice from him.

so back to the suitcase, arnold gave me a lion king movie disk to watch on the plain ride but he only gave me the disk. where was i supposed to watch it as? stupid brohter.!

i hearded kevi price talking. 

"i am better."

"bwest fwiend! hell yeah also your kinda hot tbh" arnold sIID!!!

I got out of suitcase, disaponited.

I slap him.

"ARNOLD!!! THATS a s i N!"

Arnold cried himself to sleep and i saw kevins pants omg they so hot! i can see his pee pee buldge! hot!!!!!!!!!! i want his pee in MY LIFE!!!Q!


	3. cwater 3 uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> go to Uganda :3c and meet a dude
> 
> (my wattpad is alexisthekawaii plz go there read my stuff its an experience i spam a lot lol)

Arnold let my rid onhes baxk on the way to the village in UGANDASAD!!!!!!!

"Arnold where dude" I asked him. I wanted to meet the dude. I think I like that dude.

Arnold turn aroun, "shHHHSHSHSHSHSHSH QNIET!!!" he tolded me :(

I frowned and cried I just want to meet the dude.

i heard a dude, "give bags" but that was not the dude i wanted to meet.

the had a gun and almost shot my btrother,,, but then

HE PURT GUN 2 KEVIN PRNICE 3:<

I STOMPED ARNOLD 2 THE GROUND AND SMACKE GUN OUT OF HIS HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
"ouchie" he said because i smacked the gun out of his hand.

"Do NOT TOUCH MY SQWWWENPIAAIII!!!!!!" I nartup pissed my pants.

man ran away but took the bags and the gun maybe i shoul have played go fish with them :/

 

"wow he took our bags" kevin said, yes kevin he did you are so smart i aLOVR YIOU22@!!!!!! YOU CAN BE THE TWEEK TO MY CRAIG :3

 

"HN HE DID THAT!" Arnold said.

"I HAVE LOK FOR YOU!!!!" the dude said. i lloked at him. i gasp.

THAT IS THE DUDE I WANTED TO MEET !!!! :3

 

"HI DUDE1" I SAID I

"i have been hired to do stuff also Fuck God.  
" HE SAID I WAS SO PISSED UM NO SWEATIE!!!!!

arnild then breakadanced with the africans :( i cringed in my heart area becauwse he is not a good dancer oof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wattpad- alexisthekawaii  
> on my wattpad is links 2 my other stuff like tumblr and discord :)


	4. the fnourthn one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay box outside not in my mission hut sweaty >:(

I was still arnolds back but now Arnold made MY senpai kecin prcine let him on his back so it looked like a weird orgy.

also now we had a new friend named nabulungi and i CAN pronounce her name. niwnjagunti.

"watch out 4 aids and stuff bye" she said after leading us to the mission hut. 

arnold watch her watlk away and he was like, "kevin kevin kevin kevin kevin. i am love nechrophilcac."

kevin died a little inside? i smackde arnold because he kinda killed my effing senpai >///<

"CAN WE GO INSIDE ITS TOO COLD OUT HERE" i said.

kevin and arnold looked scared at me oh no, "hunty it hoat here what u talkin abioy??" senpai sayed.

"i am cold plea-" i was cold but then i saw a small box near the door that said gay. 

i looked closer at the box,,,,,,, there was a paper below it. it said, "please leave ur gay in this box if you do not i am afriad we wil have 2 tap dance it away."

i looked at it fo a second, thinking of my pen pal. he liked to tap dance. 

kevin then KICKED down the door omg so strong dady,, "CAN WE PLEASE GO MEET THE OTHER ELDERS NOW."

arnold kicked down the dor that was already kicked down. "I LOVE NECHOEBOLING!!!!"

KEVIN SCREAMED, "I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR LOVE STORYYYYYYYY!!!!"

arnold looked down at the gay box before lookeding back 2 kevn, "that is ironic because."

kevin looked at the gay box too and asyied, "what is ironic."

arnold shrnuged, "well i mean...."

I EAT THE GAY BOX yummy WAIT THERE ISS OMETHING IN THIS GAY BOX!

i spit out gay box and there was... i can not explain what was in the gay box. fyi it did not have a good texture on my mouth buds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go to my wattpad plz I crave attention :}


	5. five is my favorite number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pen pals meet and kevin is fucking bad

we went inside and senpai KECIN PRICE OMG SI HOT XD sad, "hello????" (get it so funny because we are Mormons and we say hello a lot to convert people xDDDDD)

then I heard some gay ass say something idk what I was two busy staring at my senpai.

when I stopped looking at my senpai I saw someone who was the gay ass. he took kevins hand and shook it rlly gayly. but then he say his name.,,,,

his name was. elder McKinley!!!!! that is my pen pal!!!!! holy omg!!!!! I thot I never get 2 hear from him again he has not sent me a letter in 3 months I was like  
"OOH EM GOSH!!!! ELDER MCKINLEY IT IS ME ARNELA!!!" I SAID ANAD HE WENT dead.

"oh em gosh!!!! he said back"

we shook hands but it was S T RA AI G HT. 

 

'what r u doing here my dear pen pal arnela?" he assed me.

i explained 2 him about how i got snouked on the plaina nd he was like "oh em gosh that breaks a rule!!!!!!!!!!!!" but i dont think he cared LOL. HE ALREADY BREAKS RULES LIKE DAILY LMAO DID YOU SEE HOW HE WAS SHAKING HANDS WITH MY SENPA-........OH EM GOSH I THINK MY PEN PAL AND I HAVE THE S A M E CRUSH RUGNJVEVIS WTF?!

After they all tap danced for us (they were all very good but some of them have really sad lives like omfg ????? elder church talked about how his dad liked basketball and that was tragic. elder poptarts ((but we call him pt like his rapper name aw eyah man pt)) talked about iphones and my pen pal talked about some oen he talked to me a lot about whenever we wrote to each other named steve blade and steve blade was bringing out the sinner in mckinely so i hate steve ug he is a bad bringing out gay uG) and mckinley took MY SENPAIS hand and went 2 our room

"arnela may i talk 2 you before you go to slmep plneasE>?" he said heterosexually.

i nodded and my BIG TITS nodded too.

he made me follow him to the MISSION HUT KITCHEN WHERE IN A FEW WEEKS HE WOULD. SOMETHING. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS GOSH,,

"you seem distressed when I shook hands, u ok mate lol" he said

I angriered. "um bih you were like. full on S I N N I NG for mY SENPAI ug kevin is mine do not steal" I told him.

"I am not a sinner!!!1!!!111!1 >///////< he said."

"jesus chisnt oh mg e connor I hate you so much I hate sinners do not talk to me or my senpai kevin ever again I am his new mission president."

"I am not the mission president? I am the district leader and I am required to communicate with all of the elders! it is my job I do not want to sin It is just my responsibility to take care of everyone jesus Christ."  
i scoffed.

"i do not think you are sexy >:{"

he run his hand thro his SWWEATY and GREASY hair omg connor can you not fucking wash it i know you are a disaster gay but cmon,

"im going 2 bed." he said and walked off to his room that he shared with ANOTHER SINNER elder pt is gay i think for the church? i am not sure but i think so. ihmm.,,,?

i stomped off 2 outside an then went back inside becuase outside is scaey i do not want to get bugs in my fUCKING long black hair that flowes down to my butt.

i passed out on the couch and i wet the couch because its connors job to clean it up and i hate him now >:(


	6. kecin is fucking bad at this shit fuck him but sexy ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kewin is fucking bad again and naba learns about her favorutepkace

my pen pal was like "cockadoodle foo" HHAAHAHA HE SAID COCK CAZ HES A si n n e r xD. but he woke us up wuth the cock message.

I had Uganda breakderst abdw ebt iytsude,  
today I went with kevin and Arnold to convert people ot Mormon club because its really cool.

 

kevin walked up to nabulungi and sa, "hey b mormom?" she was like, "religion stupid?????" and kevin ws like. "um sweaty no."

 

kevin told everyone about joseph smith and gold shit and he said, "joseph smith is my daddy but i will share." but he sai that heterosexually !!! (he is STRAIGHT OMG!!!!!))))

naba did not understand until he said salt lake city and i think she likes salt lake city i do too it has a cool lake full od salt thats why its called slut lake city.

"i love slut lake city!!!" she told everyone and texted everyoen i think she likes slut lake city.

arnold asked kevin a quesrion, ? hey best friend can i cahene my name.........." he said

to what kecicn said

"slut lake city  
" he said i think he likes naba?!>!!!> OMH a satraightie,,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will work on this while I am trapped in my room as something to do plz let me out i have not been out of my room in almost a day


	7. seven hey thats how old i am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is a party in my tummy I mnan the village ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i have noy had subway in a few weeks and im running low on fuel to provide me witht thse greay ideas that only subway can provide so comment an d tell my mom to get me subway if you want this continued OuO

kevin sing eceryone a song but it was NOT trhe bibly is a trilogf because it SUKS!!!! XD 

my senpai (oh also i am taking jello knees classes so i am allowed to cal kefci my senpai uwu NANI KORE?) said song about Mormon daddy jospm smite and hwo he was sexy xD also he was sooooo cool!!!!!!!!!!! (jospm skth and kevin :3)

 

nabulungi thinks that religion insts so stupid now thnks ro my senpai omg he dod a good job!!!!!!!!!!!! he is half way to converting someone yay!!!! (better than my pen pal cocksucker because he is like 3 months old here and he hasn't converted anyone because he sux ass)

i clapped kevin on yh ASSS and congratlutated him on the ASS. but i do not think he liked it omg what if he is a sinner too>???????????// JESUS CR WAHT IF M Y SENPAI EKVIN IS A SINNER LIKE MY PEN PAL OMH I CANT DO THAT!!!!! >////<

well anyways we all had a party in the village because kevin almost hald way converted nabulungi but...

 

"YoU ALL ARE 2 LOUD!!!! " ANGRY GENEEAL MAN SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!q!!!!

THEN HE A L MO ST KILLED MY SENPAI BUT HE ONLY killed some random dude i forgot his name? bUT HE GOT BLOOD ON MY SENPAI BEATUFUL FACE AND CLOTHES AND MORMON ESSENCE SO I GOT DOWN ON MY ALL FOURS AND I BIT HIS KNEE LIKE A DOGGIE woof woof :3 he ran away crying hahah tah is what you get 4 almost killing ym sinpai!!!1

kevin cried because now he has blood allllllllll over him mormon essence so we went back to the mission hut!!!!

"omg lion king fucking sucks" kevin said as he entered the door to the mission hut

arnold pointed a finger at him and sa, "hey now buddy do not say that lion king is one of my favorite

 

THEN THEYRE WAS SCREAM!!!! IT WAS ALL OTHER MORMONS!!!!

"OMG ELDER PRICE WHAT THE HNECK HAPPENED TO YOU ALSO THE MISSION PRESISDNET GON COME HERE FRICK!!!!" IT WAS PEN PAL CONNOR!!!!!!mcKINley.

kevin repaet ed him statement about lion king and everyone FREAKED OUT BECAUSE LION KING IS GOOD!!!

"I AM SORRY MY MORMON PALS, I MUST LEAVE I WANT 2 SUCK MCKIN;EYS DICK" kevin said but then he appolgized because he didnt mean to say mckinley he meant to say mickey it was just autocorrect (see he wants 2 go to orlando)

"um sweaty u thought!!!!" mckinel said "because mission pressidint!!!!!"

 

krvi eyes glistenedin in the fine ugandan lightbulb light that wasnt that fgood tbh sorry

 

"TH mISON PESN!!!ISNT!!!!!!" HE said and i was lookeding at him because he is so sdxy!!! bUT THEN HE grabbed mKCINLEY!!!!!!! AND MCKINL SAID "YEH TEHmIJSIin PREsivnf HHNHGHFHVBGFDCJXNRFBJAB" (see he keysmashed bc hes a bottom and he a sINNER XD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fNithy sninners >////<


	8. um 8 ???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg yaoi sin babies xD

then they both said things about the mission president (tbh mission president is over rated hi isn't that good sorry mission predisint :/ )

but then,,,,,,,, my senpai...… he put his hand on mckinle face and McKinley LEANED IN 4 A KISS LIKE A FUCKING S I N N E RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRERRRRRR211!!!!!

BUT HE didn't kiss MY senpai so I was glad!!

I don't think senpai noticed it , because after that he ran away and broke a fucking rule like a bad ass omg I love hi hes s secxy,,,,,,, !!!!

but I then remembered when I was back home. 3when I was with katie!!!! ( me and katie took jello knees online classes so we speak Japanese 2 each other something)

katie showed me a very zexy book (which was 4 sure not at all fetishizing mlm lmmmmmao notpe!!!xD) CALLED. YAOI!!!!!!!

I smiled at connor because omg I do not care if he is a sinner anymore!!!! he can be my yaoi sin baabyeI!!!!!!!! and kevin can too!!!!! omg I love Mormon yaoi!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arnela reblog if you agree


	9. nine ogres in my bed !!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arnela is liking this yaoi

omg that was so sexy iomg Mormon yaoiz!!!!

but kevin like ran away or sumthin like a fUCKing D O G wtf kevin I mean :/ but ok :/  
adn then aRNOLD MY STUPID BROTHER!!! LOST HIS GLASSES WHIL E HE WAS SHAKING HIS HEAD TOO OMG EWHY IS EVEYONE ACTING LIKEEEE A DOG !!!! >:p

he ran after kneicc!!!!! i followed 2 see where they went bc what if. what. if.

AND OMG Keivn such an asshat omg he like mean and ran away oihugfvhgvhujgfggvbh but htnen naba came to us and she said she wanted to learn everything about slut lake citttttyyyy!!!!!!!! that was good. 

but arnlod is nota good story teller. take it frmo me. ia m .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "will continue soon just let me get my life together first" - arnela cunningham


	10. when i was 10 that was the first time i didnt have a birthday party and i decided i didnt age at all and i havent had a party since then so guess im still 9 lol :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> senpai goes 2 hell omg!!

kevin decide to do to Orlando (to suck mickey dick) and he liked Orlando lol.

"ah yes I am gay but not in the homosexual way I am just very happy to be in Orlando" he said and I was like "but kevi n if you are not gay then my yaoi otp will never be canon????" but he didn't hear me Dx 

but then its very ddep dark and …. S eXY!!! voice said something abiut how MY senpai belonged to him and was like. uhuh gurl u r not about to steal MY senpai omg first McKinnie now this dX

wAit why is me, arnela in hs hell dream LMAO bitch this aint how it works SHAFBDSHBVCFZDCX 

(keivns's sexy pov)

OMG MIkcey is so sexy and oh no! i am in hell! i am going to die!!!!!!!!!!! 

i saw jesus!!!! 

"dOOOOOnuTT,,,,"JEsus said and i told him to f the heck off bc omg u cant just bring up those kinds of things uuugggg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to my one loyal fan can not update for a while reason is on my wattpad ahahhaha thank you


	11. 11 was the age when i first considered suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you do not want to know

(stil kecin sexy poiny og veiew)

omg I am so sexy. I thiohjy in my heterosexual brain. like I, kevin price, am so sexy.

but now what if my sexiness went away. because I think I am trapped in this spooky Mormon hell dream forever oh no I am sweating out my Mormonism!!!

i saw lots of mean people!!!!!! like people! but i cant say their names but you know who i am talking about/.. and then

OMG ITS MCKIN!!!!!NNIE!! (see he is a kinnie. connor is kin w/ randy south park)

AND HE was not as sexy as me BUT SEXY!!!!!!!!!!

he was red! i quite favor blue over red, but now i am reconsidering. i like red now...

HE LIKE ALMS SLAm ass but like didnt idk what if i only watched the workshop.

???????

But he Left and I was TH ANKFUL jesus I love u <3

AND I dornt remember anything else thathappende. then I …. woke uo.>!>!p.>>!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have strep throat *coughs on you and gets you sick* see now you don't have to go to school because of capitalism now you can read this 4 times over and over!


	12. kinky!!!!!!!! girlfriend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so I remembered the book of Mormon exists

(kevin.) 

"wake up slep head >:(" poptart said! omg.

I woke up.

I w?

omg. .. mckinl.ey. 

ehew as like 'hel dream' sp he sinnecd by sayign a bad word.

g*ing to hell ? yea he is? straight people. bisexual? ace discourse. huh!

heteromantic demisexual. lgbt or no?

asexual.

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!

i said i "...." when he asked if i had hel derema wcuz like im not telling him i barely Know. Him,ya Haim.

"OMG I MADE THEM MORMOMNS LOL!!!!" ARNOLD!!!!!! OMG i was mean to him last time ;-;

i saw his hssister two and she said that she converted them but i was like "i am sexy" but they were like ok and aaa

(ARNELA OAPPOINT OF YVIEWS.)

OMG KECVIN ORIC ESFSAFDX DVCSJXXS UGGGGGGGGGGGGG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a girlfriend now

**Author's Note:**

> like comment subscribe turn on dem notifications lmao xD


End file.
